A birthday letter to yourself

Why write to yourself on your birthday?

Your birthday already works as a checkpoint. A letter turns it into a loop: you read what last year's you expected, then write what this year's you expects. After two or three rounds the pile of letters is a record of how you change, written by the only person who was there.

People who say they hate birthdays often like this version, because it asks for observation and not for celebration. It also fits being alone. Nothing needs to be organized, and nobody needs to be told.

What should I write?

Cover five things and stop at one page.

• Your age, where you are, and one sensory detail from today.
• The three things that took most of your attention this year.
• A thing you are proud of that nobody mentioned.
• Three guesses about next year, each checkable.
• One question your next-year self can answer.

Is there a short template?

This fits on one screen and takes about ten minutes.

1. Dear me on {date},
2. I am {age} today and I am writing this from...
3. This year was mostly about...
4. Next year I think: 1... 2... 3...
5. My question for you: did I ever...?
6. One line only I would understand.

Which prompts help when I am stuck?

Pick two or three. They work at any age.

• The best thing that happened this year was...
• The worst week was...
• The person I leaned on most was...
• I changed my mind about...
• Something I stopped doing without noticing:
• The song that sounds like this year is...
• My body feels...
• If I could tell last year's me one thing, it would be...
• What I want more of next year is...
• What I would like to be asked on my next birthday:

What does a finished letter look like?

Here is a short one. Dear me on 14 March, I am 34 today and I am writing this on the sofa with tea going cold. This year was mostly about the new job and the flat I finally painted. Next year I think: I will still be here, I will have run a 10 km race and I will have called Dad every Sunday. My question for you: did the knee heal? The song on repeat is the slow one with the piano. I bet you cannot hear it without seeing this window.

That took eight minutes. It has a place, a date, three checkable guesses, a question and a song, and that is enough to make next March interesting.

How do I seal and keep it?

In Sealday, tap Seal, choose For future me, and use the chip Your birthday. If you set your birthday in the app, Sealday knows the next date. Birthday and New Year capsules form the yearly ritual and are free: they never count toward the three waiting capsules on the free plan. The editor starts the letter with "Dear me on {date},".

If you allow reminders, the app sends one nudge a week before your birthday to seal something for next year, and one on the day you open. Nothing daily. More on the editor is on the letters, photos and voice page.

What do I do on the day I open it?

1. Pick a quiet half hour in the morning, before messages arrive.
2. Hold the seal until it cracks and read the letter before looking at the guesses.
3. Mark each guess Called it, Kind of or Missed, and add a note if you want.
4. Take the "now" photo if you sealed a "then" one.
5. Write the next letter straight away, while the contrast is fresh.

How do I make it a real habit?

Make the rules small. One page, one question, one photo, the same day each year. Set the birthday in the app once, and the yearly chip does the rest. The shorter the ritual, the more likely it is that you will still do it at forty.

A good side effect is honesty. When you know you will be graded, you stop writing "I will be happy" and start writing "I will have called my sister on Sundays." That change is the benefit of the whole thing, and how to score your predictions shows how to mark yourself fairly.

What if my birthday letter feels sad?

Some years are heavy. Write that down in plain words and add one kind sentence to the person who will read it. Sealday does not give advice or ask you to be upbeat. A letter from a hard year is often the one you value most, and the seal keeps it private. If you are struggling, a trusted person or a professional is a better listener than any app.